You may have read the stats about 40 – 50% of marriages ending in divorce. It may seem like a pretty normal thing to do when the relationship breaks down, but did you know that 22% of people that get divorced regret the decision?
Divorce could be your golden ticket to freedom or it could be a waste of a repairable marriage. You need to be sure that it is the right decision for you. Here are just some things to consider before getting a divorce.
Have you tried repairing the marriage?
If your partner has continuously done terrible things, it may not be worth saving the marriage. However, one terrible mistake in an otherwise stable marriage may be forgivable – you may just need time to find this forgiveness. If you’ve drifted apart slowly, there may similarly be a way of rekindling the flame. Consider trying marriage counselling, share old happy memories together and try new experiences together to see if there is still a spark there.
Weigh up your life goals
Some people are content with living out the rest of their years in a loveless relationship – you may have no interest in having another relationship and you may still be able to achieve all your life goals. However, if staying with your partner is blocking all your goals, a divorce could be a way of finally liberating yourself and living the life you deserve. Goals could include relocating, travelling, finding a new career, adopting a healthier lifestyle, having pets or having kids.
Don’t worry about the children
Some people stay in a marriage for the sake of the kids, but you could find that this causes more harm than good. Consider whether you’d be happy for you kids to have a similar relationship to yours once they grow up. If the answer is ‘no’, divorce could be the right option. Your kids will find the breakup hard but as long as you’re both still there to support them, it shouldn’t have too much of a negative impact.
Try living apart for a while
A trial period living apart will help you to determine whether you can happily live separately. If you find yourself missing their presence, it could be a sign that your marriage can still be saved. If it feels like respite and you enjoy every moment of it, divorce could be the right option.
Prepare for the costs
A divorce can be costly. Make sure that you’ve got funds set aside for the legal fees and for living alone (if you used to share bills, you could suddenly find that you have a lot more outgoing expenses to pay for).
How to apply for divorce
A divorce can be a long process. It’s worth familiarising yourself with the legal process first. What is a form E in divorce? Who is owed what? These are all questions to look into.
You can apply for a divorce online. You’ll need to have your marriage certificate available and you’ll need to then start your divorce petition. Providing that your spouse doesn’t contest the petition, you can then apply for a Decree Nisi followed by a Decree Absolute. It’s worth hiring a solicitor who can guide you through the process.
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